What happens if grandparents and the extended family disapprove of bilingualism?  

There are many situations when grandparents and the extended family have a vested interest in the bilingualism of children. Where the grandparents live in another country, for example, a monolingual child may be unable to communicate with grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and distant relatives.

There is also the historical legacy of bilingualism being identified with less intelligence, language under-development, problems of personal identity, and school under-performance. None of these attributions has been found fair or correct by research. Nevertheless, prejudices about bilingualism still abound, particularly among Western monolinguals.

Such disapproval, if based on prejudice, needs meeting with more up-to-date and better informed evidence. Where bilinguals are characterised negatively, there needs to be a clear assertion that bilingualism tends to have advantages and raises individual potential.

A different type of disapproval occurs when grandparents or others feel personally excluded. Research and evidence are unlikely to affect such inner feelings of alienation. Therefore, parents of bilingual children need to be social as well as language engineers. There is a need to explain to children and grandparents alike how communication can best be facilitated. Young children become amazingly adept at switching to the appropriate language and have everything to gain from communication with grandparents in the latter's preferred language.

Grandparents and others also need an explanation. Grandparents can be helped to understand the advantages of the child being bilingual, of the naturalness of the child switching between two languages, and that no loss of love or care is implied when a language is spoken that is not understood by grandparents. Where disapproval exists, diplomacy is needed. Bilingual parents and bilingual children are often relatively well equipped (language-wise and socially) to act diplomatically in cases of disapproval. The very act of having to deal diplomatically with languages only adds positively to a bilingual's life experiences and enhances their portfolio of skills and accomplishments.

If grandparents live in the same house, street or community, there is a wealth of language experience that can benefit the child. Grandparents, and other members of the extended family, provide an opportunity to learn or practice one language. For example, if parents speak one language to the child and the grandparents don't speak that language, the grandparents (and other extended family members) can be used to introduce and extend a second language. Their objection can be used to foster bilingualism. Grandparents become the second language model for the child. Not only is the child taught a second language, but the wise and pithy sayings, nursery rhymes, songs, folk stories and traditions of that language can be passed on to the new generation.